REFLECTIONS ON TACO BELL

I just got me some late night junk food at Taco Bell. it was the only thing open that late at night. I was workn late so i got hungry and thought to myself, that I ought to get in the car and drive over there to Taco Bell.

It isn’t far, just across the street.

I went out and got in the car, and sure enough, their lights were still on so I went ahead and finished getting in the car and drove over there. Sure enough, i hit the red light so I had to sit there for like an hour waiting for the light to change. seemed like it took forever, with no cars coming on in any direction, so anyways, it finally changed and so i drove across the street and got in line behind several other cars waiting for my turn to order the food.

Now the line went quickly enough, that is the cars in front of me ordered right up and didn’t ask for a bunch of special requests or argue with that poor dumb ass at the window.

When it was my turn, I said i would have a “Number 8” which is shorthand fast food lingo at Taco Bell for 3 tacos and a medium soda. Now, they said on the sign there that number 8 used to be number 9. Now if that wasn’t confusing enough, the guy on the microphone thingamajig asks if “that with soft shell or hard shell?”

Now, i think they ought to make number 8 stand for one thing, not two different things. so now that he had to ask that question it took the whole notion of getting your food fast by telling them a number instead of like ordering, “Why yes, I would like to have two tacos and a large diet soda.” so now you see, you should just say, “Get me a number 8. and that ought to be it. But now they gotta ask if that particular number 8 is with soft shell or hard shell tacos, not to mention the fact that they have to ask me if what kind of soda do i want to drink with my meal. maybe they ought to have their menu set up, so i can say “I want an 8A meaning, hard shell or crunchy tacos, and maybe i would say, and a number 2, which would mean diet coke. but that dont sound quite right either.

Anyway, its not like i was so damn excited about getting two crunchy tacos at midnite you know. its like the worst place to go excpet for Denny;s that late at night, and if ya go there, it means you gotta get out of your car, and the last thing i want to do at midnite is get out of my car and go in and sit with a bunch of weirdos at Dennys.

So anyway, the next thing is i drive up to pay for my meal, and its $3.45 which ain’t half bad for three hard shell tacos with a squirt of meat on them and a sprinkle of cheese and maybe a shred of lettuce, and a medium Diet Coke.

Then i got my food and then my change. Usually its the other way around. they are very careful about that at fast food restaurants. they make sure they get their money before they give you the food. but usually, they give you your change before they go and hand you the drink, followed by the bag of food, but here, the guy gave me the change after he gave me the food.

Strange.

So then i drove off and ate one taco on the way back to the office, and it tasted like crap. not as bad as taco bell enchiladas, they are the WORST, but anyway, eating a crunchy taco in the car sucks, because it makes a mess. so i saved the other two until i got back to my desk.

Now i never use taco sauce, they always ask me what kind of taco sauce do i want , not this time, but usually they’ll ask, and by that they mean, do i want mild or hot or very hot sauce. well i hate eating hot food, so i never get it. Anyway, my first taco sucked like i said, so as i was unwrapping the second one i thought to myself, hey, what about using this packet of mild taco sauce that they give me at the bottom of the sack on this taco, maybe it wont suck so bad.

Now the package has written on it that it is not called taco sauce, it is called ‘border sauce.” whatever the hell that means. It also says, “My best friends hang out on the menu board.” whatever the hell that means. at any rate, i put the border sauce on my taco, and it was like catsup, which I hate.

Big whoop.

Now in case you were wondering, border sauce sucks too. It made the taco taste even worse, and i was wishing that I hadn’t got the wild hair up my ass to put border sauce on my taco. so i ate it anyway, and then of course i did not put any on the next taco. and it ended up being the best tasting taco of the three, as it was much better tasting than the one with border sauce on it. well Igotta go now, just thought I’d warn you all not to get that border sauce.